I'm about to go to court for custody of my son with my son's father, any words of advice?


My sons dad and I are about to go to court in a few weeks both asking for sole custody of our son. Does anyone own any advice when dealing with family court? I hold never even been to court so I have no idea. Neither one of us have an attorney. I was just wondering what to expect and if anyone has any do this or don't do that proposal. Thanks! Someone answer please!!
Best Answer:
I am in California, so I do not know the laws of your jurisdiction. I would strongly suggest that you seek the aid of an attorney. My advice here should only be a guide. If you cannot afford an attorney, you can call the local banister association and ask for a referral to Legal Aid, free or reduced fee. In California, to get SOLE custody in a contested audible range, you must be able to prove that the other parent is unfit - i.e. that the other parent is abusive, drug or alcohol addicted, grossly negligent. Even within those situations, the courts will allow some visitation under supervised conditions and/or require the "bad" parent to go to parenting classes or take other relevant courses to aid them be a better parent or overcome their addictions. In most cases, you will leave court with a "reciprocated custody" arrangement. You will probably be sent to a mediator to work out a custody agreement, dividing days of the week, months of the year, holidays, vacations and birthdays. If your ex has be a good father in the past, that will not cash. If he has been negligent, it is plausible he will remain negligent and will not take advantage of adjectives his visitation rights. Some few men repent and become good fathers to the great blessing of their children, but they are the exception, not the rule. What should you do? First, remain CALM. Your ex will deliberately utter things that will be hurtful and false or misleading. Calmly deny it when it is your turn, but DON'T loose your cool. Second, have your facts and evidence to back it up. If he is an abuser - get police files. If he is an addict, get doctors reports, etc. Bring your witnesses to court with you. I grasp my witnesses to write a statement before they come to court, signed "under penalty of perjury" so they can't adapt their story. Third, don't ever let your child hear your complaints about your ex or listen to arguments. Better yet, as intricate as it might be, become his "friend." If he disappoints your child on visitation, etc, be "understanding" and forgiving. My mother did this and I will bless her name forever, she made our lives better. I wish you the best, and hope that you get some officially recognized help.
I am an attorney. http://www.123ReadyLaw.com