Preparing for custody battle in four years?


Here is the run down: Got married in 2000 had a child, I was a loyal wife who go to work and went home and planned fun stuff for my family. In 2001 my husband had a six month affair near one of our friends her husband found out and they stopped but nobody bothered to tell me. Then my husband slept with another girl who was our friends girlfriend and she told me. It be one time and he never admitted it and denied it tooth and nail. We moved to another state and I recieved an email in 2002 from the husband of the other woman unfolding me all of the drama that went on. My husband was in reality bringing my son to her house so they could sleep together. Well I confronted him and of course he denied it. He was doing some shady stuff at our new location so I found some friends and he would simply stalk me when I would go out with them. One day I go out to eat with them and he showed up with my son and started a exchange blows, he called me a whore and said not to come home and that he was throwing all of my stuff out on the street and consequently he said for me to take our son. This made no sense as I was not doing anything wrong and I slapped him with my son contained by my arms. He called the cops and had me arrested (spent 24 hours in jail). I divorced him and get custody of my son in 2004. So now my son is eight and the other day he said that he get to live with his dad in 4 years and he said he gets to choose when he 12. I enjoy never talked about this with him and his father is other talking crap about me and never communicates his plans. He goes through my son. We live contained by Florida and his dad lives in Alabama. I am now remarried and have stopped working so I can pocket care of my son and be there for him. My question is what do I obligation to do to prepare for the custody battle. Does his father still need to go to court and wallet for custody. They don't just allow the child to say hey I want to live with this one right? I will still hold a chance to fight for my right to care for my son won't I. It is so terrifying as I do not want to lose my son at such a critical age in development. I know that the past have nothing to do with who gets custody but I considered necessary to show some background into what led up to the divorce and his character as he have not changed. I definitely agree, basically I do not want my son to have trademark the choice as it is not fair to him. I want a court to do it for him so he won't feel bad and own any regrets or sorrow. I am very supportive of his father and only credit myself. As my father says you can never breed yourself look good by discrediting others, the only thing you can do is credit yourself. Thank you so far it is greatly reassuring, as it is not that I do not want him not to live with his dad I just want a just chance.
Best Answer:
To ease your mind you may want to consult a Florida family law legal representative since it seems Florida is the child place of residency, therefore has jurisdiction over child custody issues at this time of time In general a 12 year old does not have the final articulate as in which parent has custodial custody, the judge may thieve into account the child wishes but at 12 the weight given to those wishes is slight at best, now if we where on earth talking 16 it maybe a whole different outcome So significantly doubt if your ex in four years goes into Florida court to modify the custody order seeking primary parent he would be successful, left some material change in your current home environment
The authenticity of making choices that affect the entire family..children surely to do suffer..when parents make certain choices..seeking counseling for you and your son, to overcome the tons challenges that custody battles bring..be supportive..in your parenting..of late a suggestion
Just went through this with a obedient friend. You have custody, that doesn't change unless he takes it to court, and by of late being 12 doesn't mean your son automatically goes to dads. The court will listen to what he desires, but they look at the big picture where is the best place for the child to be, it could be with the father, but they will decide that. It is not a apposite situation to be in, document everything you can, late drop offs, late support payments, things he say. It is not cool he is talking to your son like that and if the lines of communication are open between you two I would suggest relating him you son doesn' tneed to be put in the middle like that. I would do what you can to make your house the best for your son, he is number 1. Document when his father call you names in front of him, when you son tells you things, at that age they are innocent and let somebody know a lot more then we might want. You can't predict the future, but you can prepare yourself so you are okay armed if the battle happens. Just create a happy loving home for your son, things should work out.
Sadly your ex cheating won't feasible have any bearing on his being competent to parent your son now.I would show the court if that time comes that you have been taking contemplation of your son primarily and don't see any reason that should change now. Does your son carry along well with his step dad in your home? If not, I'd try to cheer up that to improve. Try to have them do things together more to help your son surface he wants to stay with you this way. IF he feel he gets better interaction at home he can feel there is no plea or need to want to change it. I am sure different states vary contained by when the child can address the court to what they would prefer. I had a friend whose son decided to live with their dad as they have not seen them often when little and after some time with them he chose to come pay for and stay with his mom as it wasn't what he hoped it would be at his dad's house in the process. I would say that your ex is possible filling his son's head with philosophy of this being better than it actually would turn out to be. I would say that if your son doesn't hold any extended time with his dad that may put that out of the reality of this for your son. If your son comes back from him near a negative attitude I'd note that in language of how he behaves to you. I would use that as an example of why you would feel that his going to live with him would be a impossible idea later. If this comes up in court as to why he'd resembling to have him instead, I'd say to the court specific ways that the dad is making him negative acting to you when he returns from the time they are sharing. I'd also wish to have as MUCH time with your son in the exchange IF the court let him move.Try to split the time as in a custody share if your son gets to say to court within a way that they are willing to let him try to do that afterwards.Telling the court you are states apart may split like in your son then living beside his dad for the school year but you get holiday time and then you also find like an entire summer. Make SURE his dad is ordered to pay for half the travel cost if this change later in all of this.IF he give excuses not to you can take him to court and say he is withholding your son from you and try to get it reversed after. Be prepared and expect to not get things exactly how you'd want them as court doesn't side with one parent and when they don't get any out of court agreement after they can just go on a general guideline that's standard they use when party disagree on such matters. They have a set way of handling such consequently that doesn't make anyone happy later. I be aware of that you need to make the most of the time you have near him now. Just don't let your son play you on this issue. Kids can be manipulating to catch more of what they want. IF your son likes doing things like fishing or going to arcade places have your hb presently take him.This will give them male bonding that may transfer that entirely from your son's view. What he may seek is that male interaction very soon. Your ex may be promising much that he won't deliver and the little time they share now is not going to make that a reality for how your son is going to own to live with his dad if that increased any. I'd say that if your son has some all right time with his dad now (I'm sure he would with the two of you man out of state now in this) then he should acquire to see when he's older that his dad isn't going to be a buddy but a parent and the novelty of this idea can wear past its sell-by date fast. Be Patient and remember that you are doing what you can.What choice is made later on is whatever is expected to be for some reason to find out.