how do you stay happily married when you hate your mother-in-law without hurting your spouse?

Heh...Good luck...my friend's new mother-in-law is an old Russian, Jewish mother....EEP....She's a freeking nut job!
move across the country to avoid the *****.

just a thought.
Never talk about her to him.. Find someone who you can vent with and that way you can take some of the stress off. It doesn't get better with them...K
Move to another country, that always work
She somehow helped to produce a son that you fell in love with so she can't be all that bad. Take a minute to figure out why you hate her and what about you makes you hate her. My mother-in-law was my best friend, and not because we always agreed or because she minded her own business. We just had something in common, her son and my husband.
Just keep reminding yourself you're in love with your wife not your wife's mother!
live apart from your mother in law
tyson's good answer

plus if moving away isn't possible:

'kill her with kindness'--works well on inlaw's who constantly spar for a fight....
....watch 'em squirm....
JUST DONT DEAL WITH HER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, YOU MARRIED HER SON/DAUGHTER NOT HER. YOUR SPOUSE IS GOING TO BE A LITTLE HURT BUT IT IS BETTER TO JUST PUT IT OUT ON THE TABLE, AND NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH ABOUT IT. AS LONG AS EVERYONE KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL THEN THERE IS NO NEED TO PUT ON HEIRS, OR BE FAKE AROUND HER. YOU GO YOUR WAY AND SHE SHOULD GO HER WAY.

MSCHOCOLATE!!
always keep in mind you married her daughter and not her your feelings for her mother shouldnt matter unless theirs somthing your not saying only you can answer that


Answers:
Be nice, you don't have to hang around her or be around her especially if she is a problem. You don't have to put yourself thru any missery, know matter who it is, family or foe. Life is too precious to put up with people like that. I would stay away as much as possible but don't let it come between you and your spouse. Love conquers all. Pray too.
You spouse should be your spouse and realize that liking her mother was not part of the vows. Establish the hate openly and then try to be civil. Half the time, showing the mother inlaw that you are not going to take her crap does the trick. If your wife does not support you, get ready for years of anxiety that will only end with the death of one of you.
That one is easy buy a gaurd dog LOL